The Case of the Cooked Keister

The alliteration just writes itself.  A big tip ‘o the hat to Overlawyered, who brings us the story of a woman suing the Dallas Cowboys because of the badly blistered butt she suffered when sitting on a big black bench.

Jennelle Carrillo, who lives in Cleburne, is suing the Cowboys and team owner Jerry Jones for the third-degree burns she suffered on her buttocks after sitting on a black, marble bench at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium two years ago while waiting for the debut Blue & Silver scrimmage.

Yes, she’s literally suing for “butthurt in the first degree.”

In her lawsuit, Carrillo contends that Cowboys Stadium officials didn’t warn her or others about the dangers of sitting on the uncovered bench in the hot summer sun.

While I have sympathy for her pain, I have to wonder about her contention that a citizen of Texas, or anyone with common sense for that matter, would need to be warned about sitting on a black marble bench in 101-degree heat.  Or, once it started to hurt, would continue sitting on said bench until needing to use the restroom.

Note:  Ken at Popehat is responsible for coining the term “butthurt in the first degree“.  I make no claim on the phrase other than gleefully making use of it at every opportunity.

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About VPJ
Not particularly smart, witty, or good-looking. Otherwise perfect.

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